We are now into the third week of January, so hands up those who’ve already fallen off their New Year Resolution wagons? Don’t worry if you have – you’re not alone. By now it’s highly likely that your New Year Resolutions are a dim and distant memory. Statistically it would seem that the majority people start the year with great intentions, but have fallen off the wagon by at least day 3.
This sense of foreboding is one reason that I refuse to make resolutions, because I hate to start the year with a sense of failure. One of the real problems with New Year Resolutions is that we set our targets so high and think that if we don’t achieve them, we have to wait until the following year to have another go.
Another problem with starting them at New Year is that we have spent the preceding month eating and drinking our own body weight with normally banned foods, smoking ourselves silly and taking little or no exercise. The result is that we start the new year full of self loathing and we set ourselves incredibly high targets in order to absolve ourselves of all that guilt. With that as a starting point we’re bound to fail.
However if we set the bar a little lower and are a little kinder to ourselves we can make those resolutions at any time of year and are more likely to stick to them. By following some simple guidelines and taking advantage of the help that is out there we are far more likely to stick to our guns.
Set the bar at a realistic level and pace yourself
Just remember you are running a marathon here and not a sprint. You don’t have to achieve your goals in the first week. if you’re planning on exercising, set realistic physical activity goals. Most people will set the goal of attending the gym every day. But, be honest, how often will you really make it to that gym? Perhaps 2 or 3 times a week? If you set the bar at this more realistic level you’re far more likely to achieve your goal. If you set it unrealistically high, miss one day and you’ll think that you’ve failed and will less likely to go back.
The same with weight loss. Don’t start out with an unrealistic goal of, say, a stone in 2 weeks. This is highly unlikely to happen and if it does the weight will be back in place 2 weeks after that. Much better to set the target of 1 to 2 pounds a week, which is realistic and allows your body to get used to the idea of dieting.
Be kind to yourself
We are not perfect and will not always stick to our resolve. If you are too strict with yourself you’re more likely to give up. So if you’ve lapsed and had an extra glass of wine, don’t beat yourself up. It is not the end of the world. Simply make a mental note to yourself that it was a mistake and get back on the wagon the next day. Think about why you lapsed. Were you upset, angry or tired? If you take time to think about your lapses and start to understand your weak spots you are more able to plan for such eventualities and more likely to succeed.
Believe in yourself
Stop sabotaging your efforts by telling yourself you’re useless and will fail. Start practising a little bit of self-belief. Get up in the morning and look in the mirror and find something you like about yourself. Tell yourself that you are great and can do this!
Focus on the positives
Keep reminding yourself about your successes and acknowledge how well you’re doing. Stop comparing yourself to others, particularly those that have achieved more. Having a role model is great, but we all have the tendency to focus on those people that we feel are higher in the pecking order or superior in some way to us. This can have the effect of knocking our confidence because we will be constantly striving to keep up. Striving is good for us, but just occasionally make time to look back down the pecking order and see how far you have come and what you have achieved. If you focus continually on the things you haven’t achieved you are just reinforcing them and encouraging yourself to fail.
Visualise success
Make time during in your day to imagine yourself succeeding in your goals. Find a quiet space when you can sit down and really feel yourself in the situation. Or create a mood board. Find photos of yourself that you really like, images from magazines that encapsulate your goal and pictures that make you feel goo, and create a board of ideas. Or simply put the pictures somewhere you can seen them on a regular basis and every time you look at the board imagine yourself as part of the pictures. I know this is contrary to the popular advice of putting a ‘fat’ photo of yourself on the fridge, but the problem with this advice is that every time you look at it you fill yourself with self-loathing and despondency. To really make these resolutions work you need to concentrate on the positives.
Get a little help from your friends, books, even self-hypnosis
Taking up any new habits will be strengthened if you your do it with a friend. If your friends don’t want to play, you could join a group and make new friends, or use self-help books and self-hypnosis.
Self hypnosis
Self hypnosis is a great way of giving yourself that extra boost to keep you on track and can:
- lower stress and anxiety levels permanently
- help you control the content of your own thoughts
- stop you doing negative self-hypnosis and ‘getting in your own way’
- create a powerful attitude for optimism, perseverance and success.
Self-hypnosis audio downloads that you can buy online
- Self-sabotage – get you on your own side. Whether it’s early conditioning from other people, or just a little voice in your head that’s tried to tell you you didn’t deserve success or just weren’t good enough.
» Stop self-sabotage will stop you getting in your own way
- Getting the body you want – our idea of ‘perfection’ can get seriously distorted by media images or our own obsessions. Instead you need the inner vision and drive to go for the difference that matters. Open yourself up to an utterly compelling vision of your best physical self.
- Staying off alcohol – strengthen your resolve to keep you free of alcohol and its destructive effects. It will help you reinforce all the reasons you have for remaining free of alcohol just when you need help most.
- Increasing your motivation to eat healthy foods - designed to help you enjoy foods that are good for you, foods that help you achieve the weight you want.
» Motivation to eat healthy foods
- Increasing your motivation to exercise - boosts that unconscious drive so that exercise becomes a habit. To stay motivated to exercise, hypnosis is unbeatable.
Posted by Beardog (unregistered) on January 20, 2010 at 5:38am
I entirely agree, you shouldn't make unrealistic resolutions, it will end in failure. But I think most people's approach to new years resolutions is to pick something they want to change and then resolve to change it and then go ahead, relying entirely on will power! Well an important step is being missed out: PLANNING!! Failing to plan is planning to fail: we all know that don't we? I plan very carefully how I am going to stick to my new years resolutions and I know exactly why I want to change, improve or get rid of a habit and what benefits the change will bring and how I am going to resist the temptation to give in to temptation. Last year I gave up smoking. I am now in my 2nd year of being a non smoker. This year I have resolved to give up alcohol for at least 6 months but I'm secretly aiming for a year. I have been fine so far. I knew that I would put on weight when I stop smoking but I gave myself permission to deal with that later and not mind a bit of flab. Now I am dispensing with wine, I know the benefit will be a slimmer me. I work on myself a little at a time. I plan to be slim, healthy and fit by 2012. Go for the long haul, plan everything and cut yourself some slack and you can make changes. Thanks Hilary for all your tips, I will be checking out some of those motivational sites!!